Latymer Upper 11 Plus
Creative writing
Last week, I shared solutions to the comprehension sections of this 11 Plus paper from Latymer Upper School, an independent school in South West London.
This week, I’m sharing a model for the creative writing task along with some helpful guidance on how to best approach the task.
Writing section
There were actually two prompts to choose from, both
1. Describe the experience of living alone from the perspective of an elderly person.
OR
2. Describe a bird in its natural habitat. Try to be as detailed as possible.
I chose the first.
Instructions
This part is worth 25 marks.
There are two writing tasks on the next page. Choose one of these to complete.
You should write about 1 ½ - 2 sides.
You should aim to make your writing engaging for your reader.
Take care with your spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Try to use some interesting and ambitious vocabulary
Model
Every morning, I’m woken up like clockwork—not by an alarm, but by the swish-swish of the street cleaners sweeping outside. It’s early, still dark, and the world is almost silent except for the birds chirping and the wind whistling softly. There’s not even a car in sight.
Usually, I get up right away, but very slowly, like a tired sloth. At my age, it’s best to go easy. First, I put my feet on the floorboards, stretch up as high as I can, then bend down to touch my toes—or at least I try to. I used to be able to press my palms down, but now sadly my arms seem to have shrunk! Perhaps I’m not as limber as I once was. I have to warm up like a frosty blade of grass thawed by the sun.
I didn’t always like getting up early, but now I’m used to it. That’s a strange thing about getting older: you wake up far too early and just can’t fall back asleep! When I was young, I would sleep until lunchtime if I could. You could have taken a sledgehammer to my bedroom wall and I wouldn’t have stirred. Now, just a little sweeping outside wakes me.
When I finally get up, I tiptoe around the house as if I don’t want to wake someone. You see, my wife Urma used to be here, and I still tiptoe out of habit. Sometimes, I even reach out to pat her side of the bed when I wake up, as if she’s still there. I used to think I was being silly, but what’s the harm? Grief isn’t something you can just sweep away, and living alone, these little things bring me comfort.
Downstairs, my first stop is the conservatory, where I spray my plants just like Urma used to. I have lots of them and sometimes they make the room feel like a jungle!
Next, I shuffle to the kitchen for the one thing I can’t start the day without—coffee! I make it strong and dark, the way I’ve always liked it. My kitchen fills with the cozy smell of coffee, and I sip it slowly, feeling it warm my old bones. My breakfast depends on my mood. If I want to be healthy, I’ll have porridge with bananas and berries. But if I feel like a treat, I’ll have an almond croissant, with toasted almond flakes and sticky sweet filling inside! These days, I don’t have to worry about Urma asking me about my blood sugar levels, although I still feel a little guilty sometimes.
Once dawn appears, I sweep away the crisp Autumn leaves out front. Urma won’t be happy if she doesn’t have a clear path to the front door.
Guidance
Here’s a mark scheme for the creative writing which you can use to assess your child’s writing.
You are also welcome to send me your writing for grading and some feedback.
This task, I actually found pretty challenging, and, if I’m being honest, rewrote it a few times, because at first it was a bit boring.
It’s a good idea to rewrite pieces two or three times, rather than just writing lots of mediocre pieces. This is the only way to become a better writer in the long run.
Here are some takeaways from my redrafting:
Audience
In my first draft, I didn’t have a specific audience in mind, and the writing was bland.
But after deciding I would write in the tone of a children’s narrator and keep the tone humorous, it made a huge difference.
Motif
A motif is a recurring image or idea, and they give your story a sense of coherence.
Just by aiming to repeat an idea or image, you can find clever ways to imbue your story with meaning which you might not have considered before you started writing.
In my story, I focussed on utilising two motifs: sweeping and memories of Urma.
To end, I combine the motifs and this makes the piece sound more purposeful, like it’s all building up to that ending even though I thought of the idea at the last minute.
Notice how I begin and end with some sweeping. That was deliberate to give my writing a circular structure. This also makes the piece sound more cohesive.
The motifs and the circular structure ensure that I would gain full marks for structure (aka organisation).
Humour
I’ve already touched on this but it’s worth noting that I really leaned into humour because I remembered this is supposed to be a model for 10 year olds…
But also because I find it’s easier to utilise a range of writing techniques when keeping the tone humorous.
If you aim to sound more pensive, then you have to tone things down and pare back writing techniques, whereas humour lends itself to metaphor and hyperbole.
Writing in a humorous tone is more fun as well!
Those are my 3 reflections. I hope you find them helpful!
Did you know that I’m an 11 Plus English tutor and have helped many students secure offers to the best schools in London?
I can help your child with their creative writing as well as their comprehension. Simply reply to this email if you would like further support.
Best,
Morgan
This model is AI generated so not very helpful and should not be shared as a guide.