Grade 9 Macbeth student essay: duty
AQA GCSE English Literature, paper 1
Here’s an essay on duty I wrote collaboratively with one of my students. It’s a great example of a full mark essay and could be adapted for an essay on the theme of guilt.
I’ve also included an example of a paragraph that we revised together during class to show you how it’s been refined to a grade 9 essay.
Hopefully this emphasises the effort that is required to write brilliant essays. I think a lot of students simply don’t spend enough time developing their writing skills.
English is a slow, methodical process. Yes, you have to write under timed conditions but it’s hard to improve your general skillset when you're speed-running every essay.
Imagine, if you gave yourself an hour each day to paint a garden, starting from a blank page every day until you finally painted the garden perfectly. Need I say more?
You’ve had your mocks and know how fast you can write an essay. You now need to focus on methodically developing those key skills which are going to bump you into the next level.
If you have just two great essays for every text you’ll be able to incorporate lots of the ideas, which you’ve already fully articulated, in your GCSE exams, whereas if you have several incoherent essays which are complete gibberish, what do you think you’re going to produce in your exam?
Do you want to walk into the exam hall feeling unarmed or locked and loaded with a barrel full of ideas?
Essay
How does Shakespeare present the theme of duty?
Shakespeare suggests that the most important duty you had during the Jacobean period was to your country and king. Macbeth is presented at first a noble and loyal servant to King Duncan, but then as a traitor when he usurps him. And when he does, the country’s order falls apart. Through the narrative of Macbeth’s downfall which correlates with the suffering of ‘bleeding’ Scotland, Shakespeare suggests that the assassination of a divinely appointed king will lead to psychological ruin, as well as chaos and bloodshed on a societal level, which suggests Shakespeare wrote Macbeth as a cautionary tale of the consequences of committing regicide. Additionally, Shakespeare creates foils to Macbeth in Banquo and Malcolm who represent honest and loyal servants to their king and country. Banquo serves to show us how Macbeth should have reacted to the witches’ prophecies, remaining loyal to Duncan, and Malcolm serves as a foil to Macbeth’s tyrannical and merciless nature, highlighting the kingly virtues Macbeth lacks.
At first Macbeth is presented as a loyal and dutiful soldier. He is given the epithet ‘brave Macbeth’ and is applauded for helping to defeat a traitor. This establishes the theme of loyalty and the importance of duty. However, shortly after the battle on the heath, three witches appear before Macbeth and Banquo, and prophesize that Macbeth will become king. They chant ‘All Hail Macbeth’ and prophesize the titles he apparently stands to inherit: ‘Thane of Cawdor’ and ‘king’ of Scotland. Significantly, both Macbeth and Banquo have starkly contrasting reactions. Macbeth orders the witches to stay and tell him more ‘Stay you imperfect speakers’, whereas Banquo notes Macbeth’s amazed reaction and his response to the witches is more cautious and sceptical. He tries to ascertain if they are genuinely real or simply imagined. He says ‘speak... to me, who neither beg nor fear your favours nor your hate’ implying that he is not spellbound by their ego-inflating prophecies like Macbeth. He is an example of a dutiful servant whose faith remains unwavering. Shakespeare created Banquo to be a good and faithful character, not only to contrast with Macbeth, but probably to appease King James who believed he was a descendant of Banquo, which is why he makes him dutiful.
Additionally, Shakespeare presents Malcolm to be noble in order to create a strong contrast between him and Macbeth. Malcolm demonstrates what someone who follows their duties should be like and is seen as noble through the way he tests Macduff’s integrity. At first, however, Malcolm pretends to be ignoble. Malcolm claims that ‘black Macbeth will seem as pure as snow’ when comparing their vices, and that all the women in the realm could not ‘fill up the cistern of [his] lust.’ The simile suggesting that Macbeth will seem ‘as pure as snow’ implies Malcolm will be far more evil than the current usurper, with the epithet ‘black’ alluding to Macbeth’s wicked nature. Malcolm also, by metaphorically comparing his lust to a cistern, implies that his lust will never be satisfied. This characterisation of his sinful nature appears exaggerated–especially since Macbeth has become so cruel and tyrannical–and seems doubtful. Malcolm later, of course, reveals that he was only testing Macduff’s national loyalty. Because after his father, Duncan, was murdered in his sleep, Malcolm becomes very distrusting; however, when he discovers where Macduff’s loyalties lie, he expresses he is actually virtuous and honourable, saying, ‘what I am truly is thine and my poor country’s to command.’ He aims to reassure Macduff that he’s not the unvirtuous man that he’d previously described himself to be, but the opposite. Shakespeare presents Malcolm this way because of his divine birthright reinforcing the belief that kingship is inherited and only those who are rightful heirs to the throne are fit to rule.
Through the turmoil Macbeth experiences contemplating and motivating himself to murder his king, Shakespeare presents regicide as the ultimate act of betrayal. Macbeth invokes the sky to conceal his treacherous thoughts, ‘stars, hide your fires, let not light see my black and deep desires.’ This invocation emphasises how guilty he feels and acknowledges how sinful the act is; it is so sinful he wants to commit the act in darkness, hidden from the light which symbolizes god or heaven. Further, the alliteration ‘deep desires’ evokes a sinister tone which complements the treacherous and ‘dark’ desires Macbeth has been incubating. After Macbeth invokes the stars to ‘hide [their] fires’ so God cannot see him murder his divinely appointed monarch, he then expresses a desire to blind himself to the murder. Macbeth says ‘the eye wink at the hand…which the eye fears.’ ‘The eye’ represents his own conscience, whereas “the hand” reminds him that he will murder the king with his own knife and therefore represents the act he will commit. Essentially, Macbeth, through this metaphor, is communicating that he wishes to be blind to the ‘deed’ which he cannot even call by name.
Macbeth is so overwhelmed by guilt and the disintegration of his previous dutiful image that he then becomes insane. Through Macbeth’s psychological unravelling, Shakespeare hints that the betrayal Macbeth feels will cause him constant and unceasing torment. Shakespeare uses the motif of washing blood away to emphasise the guilt Macbeth feels after committing the immoral act of brutally murdering Duncan in his sleep. When washing his hands, Macbeth questions, ‘Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood clean from my hand?’ The hyperbole is later followed by his declaration that the blood, representing his guilt, would ‘make the green (sea)... red’, and by suggesting that the blood on his hands could dye a whole ocean red, he implies that he will always feel guilty and will never be able to wash the bloody stain of this traitorous act from his conscience. As the play develops, Macbeth’s guilt increases and he becomes mentally agonised, saying ‘O, full of scorpions is my mind, dear wife!’ The poison held by scorpions is, again, a metaphor for his guilt, and the agonising pincers of scorpions could represent how the guilt is pricking at his conscience. Macbeth’s psychological torment then suggests how psychologically ruinous it is to commit regicide against a just king. A man may be able to usurp a divinely appointed monarch but will be plagued with a guilty conscience during his kingship.
After Macbeth reigns tyrannically, Shakespeare then suggests it is Malcolm’s duty to avenge his father’s murder and restore peace to Scotland. When he murders Macbeth at the end of the play, it is suggested peace and glory will be restored once a rightful claimant to the throne rules as king. Malcolm is presented as the rightful king when he has killed Macbeth and all of the loyal soldiers chant ‘Hail, king of Scotland.’ This emphasises that he has the support of the people, contrasting with Macbeth, who is condemned by the public as a ‘butcher’, metaphorically suggesting that his rule was bloody; this perhaps also alludes to the way that he killed Duncan, Banquo and Macduff’s family furtively and cruelly. The play ends with Macbeth’s head on the end of Macduff’s spike with him declaring, ‘th’ usurper’s head.’ This echoes the beginning of the play when Macbeth as we are told by the Captain ‘unseam'd [Macdonwald] from the nave to the chaps,/ And fix'd his head upon [the] battlements’. The play thus ends with a circular structure–a noble and dutiful soldier defeating an ignoble traitor–suggesting a rightful monarch will always prevail. The vivid image of a head on a spike also serves as a reminder to those who wish to overthrow King James I of the punishment for treason. In Jacobean times, traitors’ heads were put on pikes and displayed on London Bridge as a warning, and Macbeth’s head on Macduff’s spike serves as a warning to anyone considering regicide.
Overall, the immorality of Macbeth’s tyranny is demonstrated through his immense guilt, the downfall of Scotland, and his foils: Malcolm and Banquo. Shakespeare wrote Macbeth as a warning to anyone considering treason, which was particularly prevalent in the period; it was likely written and first performed a year after the Gunpowder Plot. Its public performance would have pleased King James who was keen to prevent any further plots against him.
Total word count: 1376
Example editing
Original paragraph
The consequences of overwhelming guilt and developing insanity Macbeth faces demonstrate how sinful and unnatural it is to kill one’s own king. Shakespeare uses the motif of blood to emphasise the guilt Macbeth feels after committing the immoral act of brutally murdering Duncan in his sleep. When washing his hands, Macbeth questions, “Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood clean from my hand?” The hyperbole is later followed by his declaration that the blood, representing his guilt, would “make the green (sea)... red”, and by suggesting that the blood on his hands could dye a whole ocean red, he implies that he will always feel guilty and will never be able to wash the bloody stain of this traitorous act from his conscience. As the play develops, Macbeth’s guilt increases and he becomes mentally agonised, saying “O, full of scorpions is my mind, dear wife!” The poison held by scorpions is, again, a metaphor for his guilt, and the agonising pinscors of scorpions could represent how the guilt is pricking at his conscience. The metaphor suggests Macbeth is trapped in the torment of his sins. Macbeth’s psychological torment then suggests how psychologically ruinous it is to commit regicide against a just king. A man may be able to usurp a divinely appointed king but will be plagued with a guilty conscience during his kingship.
Revised paragraph
Macbeth is so overwhelmed by guilt and the disintegration of his previous dutiful image that he then becomes insane. Through Macbeth’s psychological unravelling, Shakespeare hints that the betrayal Macbeth feels will cause him constant and unceasing torment. Shakespeare uses the motif of washing blood away to emphasise the guilt Macbeth feels after committing the immoral act of brutally murdering Duncan in his sleep. When washing his hands, Macbeth questions, ‘Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood clean from my hand?’ The hyperbole is later followed by his declaration that the blood, representing his guilt, would ‘make the green (sea)... red’, and by suggesting that the blood on his hands could dye a whole ocean red, he implies that he will always feel guilty and will never be able to wash the bloody stain of this traitorous act from his conscience. As the play develops, Macbeth’s guilt increases and he becomes mentally agonised, saying ‘O, full of scorpions is my mind, dear wife!’ The poison held by scorpions is, again, a metaphor for his guilt, and the agonising pincers of scorpions could represent how the guilt is pricking at his conscience. Macbeth’s psychological torment then suggests how psychologically ruinous it is to commit regicide against a just king. A man may be able to usurp a divinely appointed monarch but will be plagued with a guilty conscience during his kingship.
Thanks for reading. I hope this article helps you better prepare for your exam, especially if it’s next week!
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Thanks,
Morgan