Grade 9 article in 420 words
Social media is making us less social 😔
Here’s a model article I wrote for my students on a popular topic.
This question is very similar to a past IGCSE English Language question, so it’s possible AQA could ask a similar question about social media.
Anyway, in contrast to my previous question 5 essay which was too long, here’s an example of how you can secure a grade 9 in as few words as possible.
Question
Social media allows us to stay more connected than ever before—yet it also encourages unhealthy comparisons and makes us less social.
Write an article in which you argue your point of view on this statement.
Guidance
One thing that you might notice is that I don’t follow a clear structure, but I do start with an engaging anecdote before explicitly stating the purpose of my article. This is often how real journalists begin articles to hook their readers.
I do also provide counter arguments/ opposing viewpoints but keep it to a minimum. You don’t have to write a balanced argument for this question. Simply show an awareness of both sides of the debate but persuasively argue your own opinion as best you can.
This leads me to my next point. Focus more on finding common ground with the reader through shared experiences, ideas and emotions. This will help the reader to identify with you and this is ideal because in reality we’re persuaded by people that we most identify with, not those who present the most balanced, informative, objective arguments.
Keep it humorous and lighthearted just as I advise for the short story—the same reasons apply. When you’re trying to make the reader laugh rather than change their life, you don’t get too distracted by the subject matter and focus on showing off your writing skillset.
Continuing on that theme, try to have fun with it. It is a bit of a box ticking exercise but it doesn’t have to be boring. You don’t need to change the examiner’s opinion or mind to secure a grade 9. I’ve read hundreds of student essays and none of them have been opinion-changing but many I’ve found entertaining and placed in the top level.
Article
It’s the last weekend of the month and with my current account depleted, I’m sat on the sofa scrolling through Facebook. Never a good idea, but I’ve got nothing better to do. To my surprise all of my friends seem to have the funds for drinks in the city or weekends away.
How? How can this be? They’re even buying their first homes at a time when the news tells us no one can afford a home. There they are smugly jangling their keys, standing in front of their little hatchbacks. The audacity. Haven’t they heard about the housing crisis?
Of course, appearances can be deceiving, even more so online. While it might seem as if everyone is so much better off than us, our perception is distorted. We’re not seeing the full picture. We’re seeing the best of our friends’ lives, their highlights which they’ve deemed worthy to share with the world, the moments they’re most proud of.
But it’s not in our psychology to think like this, especially in the moment. When we’re stuck on the sofa and our friends are in Paris watching the rugby World Cup, we can’t help but feel envious and start wondering why we don’t have the disposable income and the time for a weekend away with just the boys.
We start to feel FOMO, maybe even that we’re wasting the best years of our lives. Do I really need to be putting so much towards my pension…
Social media may help us to stay better informed, connected with our friends, whichever time zone they’re in, and always remember their birthday. But it also makes us more envious—leads us to harbour resentment. We become more and more dissatisfied with our own lot and more and more anxious about not being where we should be.
Feelings fester—we become more withdrawn, we spend more time scrolling, watching ‘motivating’ transformation videos which pop up on our feed.
While I become one with the sofa, I watch men who have transformed themselves into marble Roman statues flex and pose. I lie, resting my phone on the hillock that’s my belly, convincing myself that the next video will motivate me to actually stop doom scrolling and roll off the sofa.
It’s a negative feedback loop: feel worthless, withdraw, scroll more.
When our friends do invite us out we’re less inclined to accept their invitations.
Apps that promised to foster connection, bring us closer, instead foster envy. Social media may bring us together but it also tears us apart. (This is a musical allusion btw to the hit song ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’. Try to show off your cultural capital in subtle clever ways just like this).
Like this post if you found it helpful and if you would like more support with creative writing, reply to this email with your goals, letting me know how I can help.
Best,
Morgan