GCSE English Language P2: Q4
Differences
Last week, I wrote an article on how to answer question two of the second English Language paper.
This week, I’m covering how to answer Q4. I’m covering the questions in the order that I would recommend answering them and to recap again my suggested order is:
Q1, 3, 2, 4 and 5.
This is because you only have to read Source A to answer questions one and three, whereas you have to read and compare both sources for questions two and four.
Again, here’s the insert and the question paper. I’m using the latest June 2023 paper. Additionally, here is the mark scheme for this paper which you might wish to read also.
General tips for this paper
Use different coloured highlighters for different questions. For example, a yellow highlighter for Q2 quotes and a blue highlighter for Q3 quotes. This will help you to identify the quotes you want to use for each question more efficiently, saving you valuable time frantically zig-zagging through both inserts.
Refer to the authors by their surnames. This will save you time especially if you’re in the habit of writing ‘the writer in source A’ and you will sound like a top grade student.
Take note of the form and audience for each passage and evaluate how both the form and audience affected the style and tone of each piece of writing.
Q4
For this question, you need to refer to the whole of Source A box, together with the whole of Source B.
Compare how the writers convey their different feelings and perspectives about their experiences of travelling on a train.
In your answer, you could:
• compare their different feelings and perspectives
• compare the methods the writers use to convey their different feelings and perspectives
• support your response with references to both texts.
Guidance
The key phrase for this question is ‘different feelings and perspectives’ so ensure you’re writing about the different feelings and experiences each author has.
Annotate the feelings and perspectives of both authors to their experiences in the margins for about 5 minutes before you start writing out your response.
Aim to comment on the feelings and perspectives emphasised in all (or most) paragraphs for both sources.
Start a new line each time you have a distinct point about an author’s feeling or opinion, or you want to contrast the two sources.
Aim for 16 distinct points which either explain or contrast the two authors’ experiences.
Write entirely about source A without worrying too much about drawing comparisons in the first half of your response, and then about source B.
I actually tried both the back and forth method and this method I’m suggesting, and I found the two part method a lot easier and more fruitful in terms of the total number of points I made.
Response
Fleming begins relaying his experience on board the 'Trans Siberian Express' in a deflated tone, expressing relief that his journey is 'almost over.'
This signposts right away that Fleming has not enjoyed his experience. He then relays a long list of things that he looks forward to not having to experience again such as 'no more of that black bread' that tastes of 'rancid peat' or 'no more of that equally earthy tea.' Here the use of anaphora and the determiner 'that' emphasise his disappointment with the quality of bread and tea and the experience overall.
He then goes to sleep looking forward to soon finishing his journey when his plans are literally upended by the train crash. This sudden and exciting turn of events contrasts with the dull and monotonous 'monk's existence' which Fleming had emphasised beforehand, and although he is shaken up by it, he actually relays how he enjoys the drama of the event which brings a welcome contrast.
Fleming suggests that he is annoyed by the crash but it is a kind of mock impatience hinted at through the series of short declarative statements he makes. 'It was six o' clock. I began to dress. I felt very much annoyed.' This syntax contrast with the longer, easy flowing sentences of his normal prose style and it implies that he is merely pretending to be annoyed at the disruption.
In actual reality, he is excited by the drama. He describes the event as chaotic and exciting, telling us that his suitcase 'cannonaded down' to suggest he feels as if he's in a war zone.
But he then goes on to note that the crash didn't seem to have been so terrible after all, 'It would be difficult to suggest a nicer sort of railway accident' which implies he feels that the crash wasn’t as alarming as he hyperbolically made out and perhaps that the situation was well handled.
Still, he expresses his irritation with the train and can't seem to help but feel satisfied at the train's sorry state as he feels it has 'bullied' him and the other passengers. Again he relays a long list of grievances to emphasise his dissatisfaction, which have led to his current feelings, 'She had jogged our elbows when we wrote' he says as if to suggest the train deliberately annoyed him.
In total contrast, Kemble begins relaying her experience as so incredible that she feels she will struggle to put into words.
She says only 'a normal sheet of writing paper is enough for love but only a large sheet can contain my raptures about my railroad journey'. The comparison to a love letter here comically implies that she finds the experience more thrilling than being in love.
Further it signposts that she will go onto list all of the things she loved about her ‘railroad journey’.
Her tone is rapturous from the outset in contrast to Fleming's tone of irritation and boredom.
Kemble is fascinated with the train that she rides in contrast to Fleming who seems to be disappointed by his whole experience.
This is in part explained perhaps by the novelty of the experience which is captured in her struggle to find the words to describe the train. She describes it as a 'peculiar construction' and a 'long bodied vehicle' suggesting she finds it quite large, contrasting with how confined Fleming feels on his train.
In stark contrast to Fleming, Kemble refers to her train affectionately describing it as a sturdy 'mare' which takes her on a wonderful journey. She feels such a tender affection for the train that she 'felt incline to pat it', whereas Fleming can't help but feel a ridiculous smug satisfaction when his train goes off of the rails.
Kemble doesn't seem to have any complaints for her journey. Her aim is to merely emphasise all of the things that she found wonderful about her 'railroad journey'. She is even impressed by the railway itself: how it has been 'kept a certain level' and she 'seemed to sink below the surface of the earth.
In contrast to the jolty, jittery rhythm Fleming describes, Kemble suggests the experience felt like 'flying' and she felt as if she was 'cutting the air'. The extended metaphor of flying suggests that the train ride felt smooth and magical, as if the experience were like something out of a dream or fairytale which is why she surmises the journey as 'strange beyond description.'
Reflections
Timing
This is a hard question. You have to do a lot of work, a lot of scanning and synthesising, highlighting and then copying relevant references for comparison.
Bursting with bravado, I gave myself 16 minutes to answer the question, and well, dear reader, I wrote the first half of my response and then gave myself another 16 minutes. Typically I recommend spending 1.5 x the number of marks available in minutes. So for this question that would be 24 minutes, so I was 8 minutes over and 13 minutes over with the time I spent annotating. I made far more than 16 distinct points so perhaps I could have stopped closer to 24 minutes and still secured full or close to full marks, but I would still probably prefer to spend longer on this question, perhaps 30 minutes.
I think it’s sensible to adjust the time spent on each question depending on your strengths and weaknesses and the overall difficulty of the question. For example, in contrast to this question, it shouldn’t take you longer than 4 minutes to answer Q1 as you just have to tick four factually correct statements about the first paragraph.
This response is around 723 words and according to Mr Salles you need around 416 words for full marks and 350 for 14/16 on average. These averages were calculated reviewing real graded papers. You can read more about the features of a grade 9 response in this article here which I also utilised to help me write this response.
Points of contrast
One concern I had with this response is establishing a good number of differences. Ideally you would highlight a point of difference for every point made about one author. But that’s quite hard. I’m not sure if there are even 16 points of difference but reading over other full mark essays half a dozen points of difference should do.
This is one of those questions the exam board don’t provide a direct answer to unfortunately.
EBI
It’s always a good idea to give yourself a target for your next attempt. My targets would be:
Spend less time doing language analysis. I think I did more than is necessary, particularly in the first half. This question is primarily concerned with AO3 which for this paper is all about comparison. AO3: Compare writers’ ideas and perspectives, as well as how these are conveyed, across two or more texts.
Try to make even more explicit comparisons between the two sources.
Give this post a thumbs up if you found it helpful and would like to see the solutions to the rest of this paper.
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Best,
Morgan