GCSE English Language P1: Q4
Model and some guidance
With lots of student sitting mocks right now (or soon), I’m sharing model answers to every question on both English Language papers.
Last week, I covered Q3 and you can read that article here. As per usual, here’s the link to the insert and the question paper.
Q4
Focus this part of your answer on the second part of the source, line 28 to the end.
A student said:
‘In this part of the story, where Zoe and Jake are caught in the avalanche, I can’t believe Zoe is so slow to react to the warning signs because, in the end, the situation sounds really dangerous.’
To what extent do you agree?
In your response, you could:
• consider Zoe’s reactions in this part of the story
• evaluate how the writer makes the situation sound dangerous
• support your response with references to the text.
Guidance
Develop a convincing, persuasive argument, and make this your primary objective.
Utilise what you have written previously, any comments on language or structure from questions 2 and 3 which are applicable and relevant to this question. You need to make comments about the writer’s methods (the way they use structural or language features) but the primary focus should be the evaluation of the statement given. That’s to say that any comments about language or structure should support the discussion and be relevant to your argument.
Consider both sides of the argument. Entertain and explain possible counter arguments to your own opinion but then knock down those counter arguments. However, be careful when evaluating both sides of the argument to make clear your own position, because, remember, the primary objective is to present a convincing argument. Discourse markers such as the ones I’ve highlighted in my essay are very helpful here. Typical discourse markers I would use for a task like this might also include: ‘some people might argue’, ‘it could be argued’, ‘you could interpret’.
Lastly, don’t forget to bring in a number of short embedded quotes and paraphrase (summarise in your own words) the passage to support your opinions.
Response
I agree that Zoe is 'slow' to react to the warning signs, and her lack of awareness verges on being unrealistic. We feel that the author has taken the dramatic irony as far as he can. There is a very clear warning sign from 'she felt a small slab of snow slip from underneath her.' A 'slab' suggests a considerable piece of snow slipping underneath her and this is then followed by a description of her being 'bucked', the verb 'bucked' implying she has been violently thrown as if off the back of a horse. Overall, the description suggests that the snow beneath her has fallen as it does when an avalanche is about to descend, and yet Zoe keeps on skiing.
Then even when she has continued 'three hundred metres' and the 'whisper of her skis [is] displaced by a rumble' she still doesn't react. Instead of asking herself why she can no longer hear the 'whisper' of her skis which is a constant and distinctive sound and why there is a 'rumble', she simply looks for Jake, perhaps waiting for him to catch up. Additionally, the author notes Zoe is 'irritated by the false start they'd made.' On the one hand, it could be argued that Zoe is simply a competitive person and that she is caught up with the excitement of skiing, feeling like an 'eagle', free and powerful on the mountain. But on the other hand, it's hard to believe that anyone would ignore a 'rumble' on a mountain, because there is only one explanation which comes to mind when you hear a rumble. Even if you've never witnessed an avalanche in real life, in books and films it's always one of the first signs which foreshadow its coming.
However, you could also argue that Zoe is caught up with the beauty of the landscape. Early on in the scene, the author describes Zoe feeling in harmony with the mountain, a sense of the divine as captured in the line, 'when the mountain breathed back at her'. And there's the repetition of 'snow and silence' which suggest she's enthralled by the sublime beauty of the mountain and its 'irregular peaks.' But the 'rumble [becomes] louder' and we are supposed to believe that when Zoe looks up at the mountain and sees 'a pillar of what looked like grey smoke', she sees 'silky banners...like the heraldry of armies' and still does not process that this is an avalanche. It would be very unusual for smoke to be rising from the top of the mountain, and the image of her smiling suggests that this character must be very naive, as we can safely assume most people would at the very least show some concern at this.
In the next line, 'her smile iced over', which implies that her smiling face turns to an expression of dread, it is also already too late for Zoe to save herself. When the author describes Jake's face as 'rubberised', it appears this is the sign which informs Zoe of the disaster imminently approaching having ignored the snow slipping under her, the sound of her skis being 'displaced by a rumble' and the appearance of 'grey smoke' from atop the mountain 'unfurling' as the snow perhaps gathered before surging down the mountain. Considering all of these warnings, Zoe is ‘so slow’, painfully slow, to react. And arguably the author stretches the dramatic irony to breaking point in this scene. We really have to suspend our disbelief and presume Zoe is incredibly naive throughout the scene.
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Best,
Morgan